I didn't have many punters in after the weekend, so in my head I had mapped out my day. Cook breakfasts leave cleaner in charge and shoot off to the shops for a day of retail therapy. Yeah right - in theory this was a plan, but the best laid plans which I make seem to go astray. The cleaner reported that we seemed to have a bunged up drain as flushing one of the toilets it all backed up! Out I went and got the drain rods - is there nothing I cannot lay my hand too! Screwed them all together a rod at a time and poked them down the drain which was running under the length of the house. Why oh why do I live in such a big house! I hit the blockage and then we were quite stuck so I ran some hot bath water and let that go. No joy. I thought it would be a good idea to come from the other end and when I pulled the rods out, holy shit, the plunger rod had disconnected from the rest - so now I had this lodged somewhere under the house! Whilst I was cursing the bloody guests and wondering what they might have flushed down the toilet I started to panic as I was now in bigger shit than before I began. I dragged all the rods to the other end of the house and pushed back the other way and thank the lord, I managed to push the plunger out. Phew! After some more rodding - bingo - job done. The culprit - fat! I pushed out the equivalent of 3 blocks of lard. I thought I was very careful what went down my sink - clearly not. From now on I shall follow Charles' example. All breakfast plates will be put on the kitchen floor for the greyhound to clean before I wash them. Easier for the greyhound to get bunged up rather than my drains! Who needs Dyno-Rod when there is me. Too late now to go shopping so I mowed the lawn before the rain came in. On Saturday I had two big branches come down in the garden so out I went with my saw and chopped them up and removed them. Is there no end to my talents?
Yesterday I went out for lunch to the most flimsy of my stiffies. I was late arriving as I had very much work to do beforehand. I am very fond of the hosts. One look around and I did wonder why I had accepted - free lunch I suppose! There was a table plan, but all tables looked as bad as the next. I was seated on Table No 8. I had William on my left - I knew him in my old life but he was now so decrepit he did not know who I was, only my name as it was on the place card! He asked me what did I do with my life "play bridge all afternoon and evening"! I don't know what he thought I did in the mornings. When I said no it was not my bag he asked if I played bowls! Oh joy! To eat, we were offered a buffet of roast beef (not pink enough), coronation chicken (why in heaven's name did the Cordon Bleu School devise this dish for the Coronation in 1953) poached salmon and all the usual salads, couscous, beans etc. - I seem to have had this meal last week with Sybil at the charity luncheon - How many more of the same will I have to endure before the summer is over? After the dessert I made my apologies and said I had to return home to check in new guests. The thought of spending any more time with boring people and boring conversation was more than I could bear, so I missed the cheese and coffee!
I am now on the bacon diet as I have 2 weeks to lose yet more weight so I may be quite glamorous for the next party, which I am GREATLY looking forward to.